Life With Two Toddlers

So, I've been home 2 1/2 weeks and just now feel like I can come up for air.  The days are busy..  if the babies are awake I'm on the move.  If I sit, someone is climbing on me..  if I move to another room, I have two shadows..  if I go to the bathroom, well..  you get the picture.

I will mention a few things about our transition..

Food and eating behavior
It seems that Abigail was spoon-fed everything in the orphanage.  The only way she would eat when we first came home is if I fed her.  She spit out everything that had texture:  bread, fruit, vegetables, meat..  I tried feeding her pureed veggies (baby food) and she likes that.  She also likes baby cereal, ramon noodles, rice and bananas.  All these foods I must sit and feed her.  The minute I look away or give her the chance to feed herself, she hurls the food on the floor..  even though she's hungry.  If my dog is nearby, he leaps at the opportunity and polishes everything off.  Very frustrating.  A stern "no" with frowny face did no good.  Today I'm trying a new strategy..  I'm telling her the cup holder on her tray is the "no, thank you" cup.  If she doesn't want to eat it, put it in the "no, thank you" cup.  When she throws food on the floor, I promptly take her out of her seat and have her pick up the food from the floor and put it in her "no, thank you" cup.  She is responding to this strategy..  I hope we can resolve the issue.  Of course, William also throws food too...  but when he's full and ready to get down.  I've taught them sign for "all done" as well as "more" and "please".  Abby especially uses these signs without being prompted.  William needs reminders.

Divided attention
It took me about a week to get this figured out to a workable solution.  William has always had mommy's undivided attention and Abigail enjoyed mommy to herself while in China.  It was a shock to both when they started realizing they needed to share me.  When I fed Abby a bottle and held her, William wanted one too and wanted to be held (keep in mind, William only drank from a bottle one time in his life!).  Like I said when my big boys were little, "two laps, two babies".  I just hold them both while they drink their bottles..  I also read a story at the same time. Yes, we're juggling!  Abigail has not figured out the steps yet and needs to be carried down the stairs ..  guess who else wants to be carried down now?  I just hold both and don't worry about doing any arm work-outs later.  When I tickle one, I tickle the other.  When I swing one in the air, I swing the other.  Is this exhausting?  YES!  Is it fun?  YES!

Clingy in public
As to be expected, Abigail is shy and reserved in public.  She is observing the world and is not sure about everything.  She wants to be held by me and cries if I put her down.  We are building our confidence through everyday love and care.   I'm trying to leave her for short stretches so she will know "mommy leaves but mommy always comes back".  I can only imagine her perspective on life right now.  She needs lots of stability and structure.

Life with two toddlers
A few pictures will tell the story..

Oh, yes!  Toilet paper.

Helping in the kitchen

Target outing

 

Happy and busy family.  Now we're just waiting on daddy to come home from deployment!

We're HOME!!
It's been a very busy few days and I haven't had a chance to update the blog.  I'm going to backtrack and record some of the happenings of our travel adventure and first days home.  I will be brief though.  I don't have much time..

We started our trip home by driving from Guangzhou to Hong Kong which took about 3 hours.  Our driver was weaving all around cars, faster.. slower.. back & forth -- the ride seemed to be typical of our experience in China so I didn't think much of it.  I fed Abigail a nice big container of blueberry yogurt.  Well, guess what ended up all over my lap and shirt??  Yep.  I guess she gets car sick!

We stayed the night in Hong Kong, which seemed to be a pretty cool city.  I would have loved to go to Disneyland there.  It was time for the 12 1/2 hour flight home..  oh, boy!  Abby did well on the flight.  She fussed when she was tired then would fall asleep in various positions on me.  When she was sleeping I was like a frozen statue --  if I moved she would wake up, fuss and cry -- so I remained a statue.  Sometimes I wondered if I still had the ability to walk since my body was numb from sitting so long in one position.

We arrived in San Francisco Wednesday morning..  along with all the other Thanksgiving holiday travelers..  the place was a ZOO!  Fortunately, we could bypass some of the long lines since we had a child in a stroller.  After maneuvering through immigration and customs, we got to our gate and I ate a very yummy salad.  Then we went on one more flight and arrived in TX.

My father-in-law picked us up from the airport..  the kids were at home waiting.  When we drove up to the house, I wanted first of all to see my baby William.  Two weeks is a long, long time to be away from your 18 month old.  He saw me and stood at the front door with his lower lip puckered out in a big frown.  At first it was like he forgot me and was shy to see me.  I gave him a big hug, then hugged my big boys and went to sit down on the carpet.  It didn't take long for William to warm up..  he was running all around, jumping in my lap for hugs and tickles, and just pointing at me saying "mama, mama".  Yes, it really was mama!  The big boys had made us a "Welcome Home" sign and chocolate cookies (made out of kleenex).  Abigail was happy to be free to run around after being confined to cars, strollers and airplanes for so long.    She explored the toys and ran around in the joy of the boys.  My mother-in-law made a scrumptious dinner of hamburgers, fries and salad.  It is so good to be home!

The next day was Thanksgiving..  I had pre-ordered the dinner from Whole Foods so we picked it up in the morning and enjoyed a very yummy holiday meal together.

My dad left for home this morning.  I am so very thankful that he shared this experience with me.  He was very supportive and helpful, and Abby loves her grandpa.  What a special memory we shared together!

The first few days home have been happy, exhausting, chaotic and emotional.  It will take a while for us to settle into a groove..  for each of the kids to find their place in the family.  It is so important for us to stay in God's Word and stay focused on what's truly important.

I will continue to update the blog --  it won't be every day, but when I have thoughts or happenings to share.  Thank you for praying for us and supporting us!

Almost done!  We went to the Visa appointment today, took an oath that everything we submitted is true, then handed over a packet containing documents and information from the various steps of the paperwork process.  I wonder if anyone has logged the number of hours spent on paperwork for one adoption.  I'm sure it would be shocking!

Abigail wore a pretty red dress for the event but we couldn't even bring cameras or cell phones for the "swearing in".  We had to leave electronics at a security check point.  She did have fun playing in her red dress though..

Abigail will officially become a U.S. citizen when we first enter the United States - our entry point will be San Francisco.  Pretty cool since we have many fond memories of the Bay Area.

Abby's personality is coming through more and more as she becomes more comfortable with us.  She throws food on the floor when she's done eating and whines when she's had enough of an activity (mostly when we're out and about).  She's starting to enjoy her bath more - today she played in the water for a quite a while..  much better from the fearful bath experience at the beginning.

We're going to the zoo tomorrow morning then will receive her Passport/ Visa in the afternoon.  After that, we'll travel to Hong Kong by car, stay the night and fly home the next day.  Did I mention we'll soon be FLYING HOME?!  I'm so excited!

Thank you for the prayers, messages and notes of encouragement.  Even though I haven't had a chance to respond, I read every comment and receive the strength to keep going.  Your words make a difference...

Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me, bless His holy name!

We're in Guangzhou now..  Abigail had her first airplane ride yesterday.  About a 2 hour flight from Nanjing to Guangzhou.  She did well..  normal toddler squirminess but no major issues.  Of course, this flight was only 1/6 of our flight from Hong Kong to San Francisco..  then we'll have another four hour flight to San Antonio.  THIS will be the real test.

After arriving in Guangzhou, we had an hour of "international adventure".  No one was waiting for us with a sign at the airport.  After about 15 minutes, I started making phone calls..  trying to find someone who speaks English..  trying to figure out how to safely get to the hotel.  My dad did a great job entertaining Abigail while I fluttered around.  I finally spoke with someone at the hotel who understood English.  I told him what gate we were at and he told me to look for a black van with a specific license plate.  We were happy to finally be on our way!

Feeding her a bottle of warm milk

This morning we joined up with 3 other families in our travel group to go for the Visa medical exam. The place was swarming with other adopting families..  all ages of parents and children.  New moms and dads trying to figure out the needs of their new children.  It is exciting to be part of such a beautiful story of adoption.  How God brings people together from all different backgrounds and brokenness.  How He will knit hearts together..  though it won't always be easy.

Out to dinner

I'm glad this is the final stretch of the journey..  Although we've had some really yummy authentic Chinese food, I'm ready to get back to my normal diet..  I'm especially craving fresh vegetables and can't wait to eat a big salad (we can only eat cooked veggies here to avoid tummy troubles).  And I really, really, really want to be back with my boys.  I miss them so much!  Please pray we will stay healthy (my dad is coming down with a cold and Abigail has congestion too) and pray we will stay strong during these final days of the trip.

Grace and peace, Marianne

We went to Abigail's orphanage today..  the Nanjing Social Welfare Institute.  When we arrived at the orphanage, several nannies called out from windows on higher floors "Rou Rou!" (her nickname).  We took an elevator to the third floor and went into her playroom after taking off our shoes.  About 8 nannies were playing with or holding babies.  Some children were mobile, some were just laying on the floor.  Abigail's special nanny ran over to her and both were happy to see each other.  Abby looked at me a couple times and I nodded, "It's good."

Abby's best friend is a little boy, Ankang.  He was overjoyed to see Abigail and gave her a couple sweet kisses.  Then a little later he hit her..  typical toddlers!  Our guide was translating everything for us and said Ankang will be adopted by a U.S. family next month.  I would love to connect with this family and keep the kiddos in contact with one another.

We saw the sleeping room, with rows of cribs lined up.  It looked like the mattresses were being aired out since they were all tilted at an angle.  They showed us the room where they give the children a bath.  I was interested in this part of our visit since Abby is having trouble with bathtime - she does not like it!  In the orphanage, she was held by one nanny, leaned back, then washed with a sprayer by another.  She did not sit and play in the bathtub.  I will keep trying to make bathtime more fun for her..  maybe William will need to show her how it's done.

There are about 300 children assigned to this orphanage, about 100 are in foster care in homes nearby.  There are about 200 children under the age of 10 living daily at the orphanage.  The building is not large enough to hold all the children so a new one is being built and will be ready in 2014 or 2015.  This is likely the last time we will see this particular orphanage --  if we have an opportunity to visit Nanjing in the future, the orphanage will be at the new location.

In general, the orphanage seemed clean and organized.  The nannies seemed happy and loving toward the children.  My guide shared that this is one of the best orphanages - I am so thankful Abby is coming to us from a loving environment!  When it was time to go, Abby's special nanny came down with us to say a final goodbye.  Abby was confused and started crying - she wasn't sure if she should come with me or stay with her nanny.  We walked around outside a bit after saying goodbye and she settled down.  Then I gave her a snack and a drink which she enjoyed.  So many big moments for such a small person!

View of the purple mountains

We ended the morning strolling around Xuanwu Lake.  Abigail fell asleep in the stroller.

Tomorow we receive Abigail's passport in the morning then fly to Guangzhou in the afternoon.

The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious.  Exodus 34:6

Today has been a nice day..  clear and brisk outside.  A good day to tour..  We went to Dr. Sun Yat-sen's Mausoleum at the foot of the Zhongshan Mountain.  He is revered at the Father of Modern China and is well respected by all Chinese people.  Four Chinese characters written by Dr. Sun Yat-sen are inscribed on the doorway that translates "The World Belongs to All".

There were many Chinese tourists there.  Several large tourist groups.  As we walked, we received many stares and double-takes.  Blond caucasian with Chinese baby.  I'm sure we'll get stares and double-takes our whole life, wherever we are.  I made sure to bundle Abigail in many layers today - the Chinese dress their babies in at least 3 warm layers.  I was chastised by several older Chinese women yesterday..  "need more clothes".

I'm thinking of my son Ethan especially - today is his birthday (10 years!).  Mom sends big hugs to her oldest son..  My in-laws are taking good care of him and will make him feel very special on this special day.

A few photos...

When we first met

In the hotel room and pushing the stroller

Out to dinner

Playing with Grandpa at dinner

Running around the hotel room

It's official...  Abigail is our daughter!  We went back to the Civil Affairs office this morning to sign the legal adoption documents, answer a few basic interview questions and then both Abby and I sealed the adoption with our thumbprints.  We saw the families from yesterday and the little girl who was crying and hitting was much calmer, and was sitting on her new mother's lap.  She did fuss a little due to the stress of the environment but I think she'll adjust just fine.

Abigail slept very well last night - She fell asleep in my arms as I fed her a bottle of warm milk and talked with Mike on the phone.  She woke up around 2am but didn't make a sound.  I opened my eyes to check on her and saw her little sweet face peering through the crib.  I changed her diaper then laid her back in her crib.  She woke up again around 4:00am (again, did not make a sound).  She reached out to hold my hand.  I picked her up and held her for a little while then put her back to bed.

She's giggled a few times when my dad tickles her..  She loves to play with stacking cups and, of course, my cell phone.  She reaches out often to be held.  She likes to be held in the ErgoBaby carrier.  She loves music and will dance and clap.  She loves to eat.

I miss my boys at home and my husband serving our country.  We have one more week of paperwork processing..  I hope to enjoy this quiet, one-on-one time with Abigail.  Things will be a lot different when we get home!

I haven't been able to post pictures - my sister (who created the awesome blog design, by the way) is going to attempt posting pictures I email to her.

Abigail is here!!  I first met her at 2:00pm at the Nanjing Civil Affairs office.  There were 5 other families receiving their children at the same time.  Emotions were high all around..  Then children 3 years old and younger started arriving, carried by orphanage caretakers.  When I saw Abigail from the window, I choked up with emotion and cried, "There she is!  It's her!"  Then they walk in and stand before me..  What do you do?  I reached out to her and let her touch my fingers..  the orphanage director hands her to me and says, "Ma Ma".

I sign paperwork that I can't read, we take a "family photo" (without Mike - we miss him so much!) and I was able to ask a few questions like what does she eat (congee and steamed egg, warm milk in a bottle, rice, noodles, some vegetables, fruit), when does she sleep, does she have a favorite friend (yes, a little boy)...  I requested to visit the orphanage and we plan to go Thursday.  I would like to see where she's lived these first couple years of her life, and meet her special nanny.  She was selected to be a little sister in the Half the Sky Foundation program and has had only two nannies who lovingly took care of her - so she's had consistency and felt love.  The nannies made a memory album for her with many photos from tiny infant to now, with written updates on milestones, her birthday and other special events.

She has a super sweet demeaner, likes music and loves to eat (she ate heartily at dinner).  She had never taken a bath and wasn't too sure about that but settled down after I dressed her in warm pajamas and gave her a warm bottle of milk.  I held her as she fell asleep then laid her in the crib.

There was another baby girl, maybe 2 1/2 or 3 years old, who was insolible when her new family went to receive her.  The baby hit her new mother many times and cried and cried.  So scared.  I pray that she settles down soon.

What a day.  So many firsts for sweet Abigail..  What a blessing she is to our family!

The last night

  

These last few days have been fun and mentally restful..  The process of adoption, the paperwork and waiting, is pretty exhausting after a while - especially when you've been doing this for 6 years.  I've learned a lot from the Lord during that time - to wait, trust, and wait some more.  The Lord placed a little girl from China on our hearts those many years ago.  I can't believe we're finally going to meet her!

Although I've read books, attended webinars and training sessions, I know our actual experience in bonding together will be unique to us.  I pray I will share God's deep love with Abigail as she feels many emotions - separation, fear and uncertainty.  I can only imagine what she will work through in the transition to a new family.  We will need the Lord's strength and wisdom in the days ahead.

I was encouraged by Matthew 14 as the disciples felt fear in their situation in a turbulent time on the water..  Jesus said, "Take heart; it is I.  Do not be afraid." If I keep my eyes on Jesus, I need not be afraid.  

Tonight is Abby's last night in the orphanage.  We already have her crib in the hotel room, ready for tomorrow.  We meet her at 2:00pm, then will start our life with her..

My posts will likely be shorter in the days ahead as I will be busy, embracing Abigail and taking in as much as I can in this beautiful country.  Thank you for your notes of encouragement and prayer.  They are a wonderful support!  OO Hugs from China OO  

Today was a bad hair day..  My straightening iron stopped working due to some sort of power surge.  Then we turned on the tv in our hotel room and the lights in the room went out.  A couple very loud, Chinese speaking maintenance men came to fix things.  The tv works now but my straightening iron is toast.  I asked a hotel staff person where I can find another one to purchase..  he said, "Just use hair dryer." It turned out to be a good thing I didn't spend time on my hair since it is cold and rainy.  We pressed forward despite the rain and were able to see some interesting sites.

 Forbidden City

Tiananmen Square

We had a delicious lunch at the home of a family in "old Beijing" then took a rickshaw around the area.  I couldn't see much since the rickshaw was covered with a protective tarp and our driver had a large blue umbrella.

Despite the cold and rain, I enjoyed the day and the beauty of these people.  The layout and architecture of buildings are done with such careful thought and reflect deeper meanings, such as prosperity, safety and long life.  The Chinese respect and honor their elders, giving them the best treatment.  Families are intergenerational with grandparents, parents and children involved in daily life together.  Homes are small - most people in big cities like Beijing live in apartments.  Our guide said typical families sleep with parents and children in the same bedroom, since there is only one bedroom in the small house or apartment.  But this is their way, and they are happy.

Later this afternoon, we have an orientation with our adoption agency's China staff person.  Then we'll grab a quick dinner, probably at McDonalds (we've eaten Chinese food the last 3 meals) and go to an acrobatic show.

We fly to Nanjing in the morning and meet Abigail the next day!!  I am praying for this special and highly emotional time for new daughter and mother.

 Today has been an wonderful day..  

We started at the Cloisonne Factory and saw how beautiful vases, ornaments and other decorative pieces are carefully handcrafted.  I bought this vase for our home - the picture (taken inside the hotel room) does not begin to show the lovely colors and details.  

Next, we headed to the Great Wall..  this is truly an amazing site to see.  We walked up almost one thousand steps (a great work out!) along with many other people from around the world.  It's fun to enjoy one of the seven wonders of the world with people from different backgrounds and cultures.

We ended the day at the Beijing Olympic Park built for the 2008 Olympics.  The Communist Party is having a major meeting within the next week which will decide who the major political leaders will be for the next 10 years.  We've observed lots of clean up activities going on, especially in major tourist spots like Olympic Park.

We spent the day with another family who is adopting a 6 year old girl and it's been fun connecting with other people who feel the same anticipation and love for a little girl they've never met.  

Bird's Nest at Olympic Park

We made it!!  After 12 1/2 long hours on the plane, we finally made it!  I'm exhausted as I only dozed here and there..  no "real" sleep for me in over 24 hours!  I did watch 3 movies, ate bad airplane food and drank lots of coffee.  I'm headed to bed then we're off to the Great Wall and the Bird's Nest (built for the Olympics) first thing in the morning.

I'll leave you with my first bathroom experience..  the squatty potty at the airport.  I waited for the western style toilet at the hotel, but I'm sure this will be part of my adventure..

The adventure begins... First San Francisco (4 hour flight), then Beijing (12 1/2 hour flight).  My kindle is juiced up and ready to go.  After all the many, many preparations and a few tears saying good bye to the boys, I'm ready to go to China and meet little Abigail (Qiurou)!

Her Shoes

Soon a little girl will be wearing these shoes..
Will she run in these shoes?  Play?  Laugh?  Cry?  We'll soon find out.

After four weeks of waiting, we received the Travel Invitation.  My dad and I booked our flights and are leaving for Beijing November 7!!!  We'll be home the day before Thanksgiving and will have much to be thankful for. 

I'm thankful for my dear husband who also waits in anticipation for his daughter as he serves his country.  I'm thankful for my boys who give me much joy and lively activity.  I'm thankful for my dad who travels with me to China.  I'm thankful for my in-laws who will care for the boys while I'm gone.  I'm thankful for my church and friends who are constantly praying for us, reaching out to us and meeting our unspoken needs.  I'm thankful to our great God who has called us to a journey of faith and obedience..  loving and surprising us along the way.

I've thought about and prayed for who will fill these little girl shoes.  We soon will meet her and love her with all our hearts. 

Pray for all the many details to be worked out in the next couple weeks --

Getting Closer...

We're finally getting close, so close, to meeting our sweet girl!  We should receive the Travel Invitation in a couple weeks then can apply for travel Visas and book our flights.  I am tired of preparing and ready to just GO!

We sent questions to the orphanage and received a response last week.  Our waiting daughter is beautiful!  She is 20 months now, about 19 pounds, she walks, says "MaMa" and "BaBa", likes toys that makes sounds and likes to be outside.  I can't wait to hold her and fill her with love.

I'm praying all the many details will come together at just the right time.  I believe the words of the children's Bible song, "He's got the whole world in His hands!"  What great comfort. 
Stay tuned! 

Red thread to her...

The Chinese have a saying an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance.  The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.   In our case, our thread is connected to a child born in our hearts over 6 years ago. 

Our journey began before we had any children.  We wanted to be parents and both of us were open to adoption.  The Lord blessed us with two energetic boys then we again discussed the idea of adoption.  After much prayer, we decided to go down the path of adopting a little girl.  At the time (in 2005), adoptions from China were fairly straightforward..  Due to China’s one-child policy and the Chinese preference for boys, there were many little girls abandoned and in need of a family.  We wanted to welcome one of these “lost girls” into our home.

We soared through our paperwork and were officially “logged in” September 13, 2006.  Our wait time was expected to be about 9 months to a year.  Well almost six years later, here we are.  During this time, we moved twice, bought our first house, had another baby (boy!), and made many memories.  We prayed many, many prayers for “our baby sister in China”. 

We had moments when we questioned if we were doing the right thing to keep waiting on the China adoption.  Should we adopt a girl from another country?  Locally?  Each time we questioned, the answer seemed to be “Wait.”

My emotions as the “expectant mom” ranged from hopeful to very discouraged.  Why was it so hard to adopt when there are so many orphans who need a home??  I watched families around me grow with children, and although I delighted in my sons, I wondered why this little girl from China was still strong in my heart. 

The red thread cannot be broken…

We are happy (no, ecstatic!) share the news of our referral.  

Meet Jiang Qiu Rou born January 20, 2011.

She currently lives at the orphanage, Nanjing SWI for Children, in the Jiangsu Province.

We are so excited for our future with her, and can't wait to bring her home!

We praise God for such a precious blessing ~

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

Psalm 68:5